Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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