I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Someone came in the potted fern
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
