I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
