seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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