Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
