YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
