absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
