You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Floor bacon is actually really good
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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