I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
my liver is dry heaving
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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