So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
