Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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