I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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