I love black thongs
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
