My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
