i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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