i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
