East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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