did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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