i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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