I molested 6 butterflies tonight
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You pole danced in your parka.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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