Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
