Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
