I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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