you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
