Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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