Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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