no you cant smoke seaweed
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
