Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
