barbara walters just said penis...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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