I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
