it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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