My first STD was from a foam party
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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