it hurts more in the daytime
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
