we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
