Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
dude. I can hear the air.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
