If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
sex in a hospital.. check
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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