My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
