I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
