you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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