I got chris browned last night
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
