lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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