Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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