Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
