I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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