I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
