I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize