In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
