you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
