I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
