You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
