Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
