Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
