I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You may now shotgun with the bride
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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