Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
