if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
