Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
