3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
